Journal #29: success

 I feel like I have grown more spiritually this semester than at any time in my life. I was not anticipating this aspect of my preparation for Ghana at all but it has been the most rewarding growth I think I have ever experienced and I feel like it is going to make a world of difference while I am there. Today in class someone mentioned about how our attitudes will greatly affect our experience, especially in how we identify each aspect of our day and that got me thinking about how I will define my days in Ghana, and even more so had me asking myself how do I define my every day? What do I look back on at the end of the day when I am laying in bed? Do I see my life and my accomplishments as a success?

What is success, and how do we achieve it? I think it is different for every human being on this earth and no two people would define it in the same way. Some days for me are successful if I am able to get out of bed in the morning to drag myself to statistics at 9 am with 3 hours of sleep the night before. Others, are full of fulfilling accomplishments and appreciation of the beautiful world we live in. Others are a success simply because I was able to smile at someone and bring a little sunshine to their day. Success is one of the words in our vocabulary which is extremely relative to the beholder of its vision and context. But what does it mean to me?

 Like this quote to the right, I feel like success to me means that I was able to do all the little things that make for a happy and fulfilling life for me. Making my bed, brushing my teeth, praying in the morning, getting ready for school, getting a decent breakfast, finishing my homework, getting everything done at work, learning something new, appreciating God's creations, talking to my family, writing a letter, exercising, reading scriptures, working on my project proposal, learning a new word in Twi, doing well on a test, singing a song, doing the dishes, feeling the sun on my skin, being kind to others, helping out when I was not asked, staying awake in class, writing in my journal, only going on facebook once a day, thinking about others, reading a book, visiting a friend I haven't seen in awhile,

stopping to talk to someone instead of just swiftly saying hello and walking quickly by to my next destination (why am i always in such a hurry to get to the next place anyway?), stopping to look at the sunset, experiencing something new, feeling the spirit, doing well on a test, laughing with my roommates, calling my mom, being proud of my appearance, fulfilling my callings, always moving forward, stumbling upon something serendipitous, feeling joyful nostalgia, eating only healthy foods some days, not being mad at myself for indulging in sweets, feeling completely content with who I am,

  

understanding my role as a woman here on earth, recognizing God's hand in all things, coming home to a clean house, making a new friend, telling my Dad how much I love him, expressing gratitude, dancing, going to the park, marveling at the beauty of this life, learning how to love others, teaching someone something, never taking someone's sunshine away, smiling at pictures of my nephews, gaining insight about something from my sister, laughing at a joke, helping out a friend, helping out a stranger... If I could I would keep that list going forever. For now I will just keep listing the little successes in my mind. I think that every day that we are alive is a success. Heavenly Father gave us bodies and free agency and He trusts us with this amazing power to live. So what are we going to do with it? Are we going to sit on the couch thinking about all the things we should have done that day or are we going to praise His name and recognize the beauty of every single breath, every single step, and every single moment that we experience here on this earth. Every day is a success really and if we just remember that, if I just remember that then I will have such a beautiful experience in the field.


Beyond those successes that I feel every day, I wonder what will feel like a success when it comes to my research. I honestly have no idea and the closer my departure date, the less prepared I feel. I don't know what my typical day will be like. I don't know what I am going to eat, I don't know what I am going to do, I don't know what I am going to wear, I don't even know if my methods and planning for my research are going to work out at all. That is the beauty of this though, I just don't know. I am going into this with zero expectations because I don't even know what to think about most things. I just realized that I have been sitting here thinking about this concept for an hour already...what is it going to be like when I am in the field reflecting upon my day. Will I be happy with the research I was able to do that day? Did I collect data that is conducive to my research question? Did I bring a smile to someone? Did I learn from the Ghanaian people and embrace their culture that day? Was I able to eat the food? Did I stop to thank my Heavenly Father for the opportunity to be there? What kinds of things are going to spell out SUCCESS for me while I am in Ghana? I really don't know. I don't know if my research methods are actually going to produce the results I am seeking. I don't know if I will have valid research to write my senior thesis on at the end of the summer. I don't know how I am going to react to culture shock and a new experience in a new place with hundreds of strangers and no family nearby. I don't know how I am going to cope with my back pain if I have to stand up a lot during my volunteer/research hours at the hospital. I don't even know how I am going to really dive into my research and get it done. But the one thing that I do know is that I am going to "embrace each day with an enthusiastic welcome, no matter how it looks" -Elder Busche. That will be my success. I am going to have a good experience. I am going to learn about the people in Ghana as a friend, as an anthropologist, as a foreigner, an outsider, a woman, a girl, a human being. I am going to let this experience change me. I am going to MAKE each day a success.

Journal #......?

      Well I went snowboarding today with my brothers and roommate and let me tell you it was just BEAUTIFUL! I marvel at the beauty of this earth every time I get the chance but being up in the mountains is especially amazing. I always have such wonderful spiritual experiences while I am there because I feel so close to our Lord and Savior. Please excuse me if this post makes no sense though because I hit a lip and smacked my head on the ground pretty hard today. Was I wearing a helmet? Nope. Bad idea. I have fallen pretty hard before but I have never hit my head so I guess I just didn't think I really needed to wear one. I'm buying one for next time you can bet on that. This instance made me think about being prepared and learning lessons when we make mistakes. Because I was unprepared for the fall I did not have time to react and my head was making contact with the ground before I even realized what was going on. I imagine I will have moments like this in Africa...moments of impact; probably lots of them. Moments that will define the experiences that I have and my attitude towards them along with what I take away from my whole 3 months. These moments of impact will come at times and places that I least expect; but they will be the moments that define so much of who I become. The activities, people and places that I conduct research in, whether it be deliberate or just happenstance will each be so important to my end results and I never want to take any moment for granted. As the days slip away and my departure date draws near I have found myself more confused and frustrated with the lack of preparation time left. I cannot even wrap my head around where all the time went and I do not know how to even come to terms with the fact that I am actually leaving so soon. I was talking to my dad the other day about everything that I have been learning lately and about the reality of leaving so soon. For some reason talking to him was different because I talk to my mom about it almost every day but talking to him about it just made it seem so much more real. He made me realize that it is not just the fact that I am GOING to Ghana, it is that I am LEAVING the United States and so many people I love. In all honesty, 3 months is not a long time. But the fact that I have never really had the opportunity to travel outside of the United States, by myself (without any of my family or best friends), and that I am now going to leave all of them to embark on this journey made me freak out a little bit. My 3 best friends are going on missions, one is already in the MTC, and when I return from Ghana everything will be different. Many of the boys from Freshman year will be home while my best friends, those who have been my family for these past three years will be graduated, married, or on a mission. Everything will be different. I will be coming back to a college experience that is completely new. Not to mention, it will be time to think about and apply to grad schools (though Boston is my #1choice), but mostly it will be time to figure out what to do AFTER I graduate. GRADUATE from college. What? How am I old enough to even be thinking about that. I was talking to my mom today when she had just dropped off my little sister at Middle School. How was 7th grade so long ago? I think that is what scares me the most.
      With that realization, I decided to look at this experience not only as a field study, not only as the experience that will change my life, not only as this African adventure, but as a time to really find myself. I know who I am, I know why I am here, I know why I am doing this field study, I know why I am an anthropologist, I know why I chose Africa, I know that I believe in the Lord's plan for me and this is part of it, I know that I will be safe and that I will be happy, I know that this experience is for me. But what am I going to take from it? Am I going to decide that I want to turn around and go into nursing or public health because of the experiences I have at the hospital, maybe...double major? Am I going to realize that I love living without the comforts of running water, hot showers, snowfall (only for snowboarding of course), a loft with twinkle lights for endless movie watching in the winters, the comfort of knowing that my family is only a 10 hour drive away and a phone call that can be made at any time of day, without the 7 hour time difference...will I fall so in love with Africa and the African people that I will want to return and do more research, will I realize that I do love anthropology as much as I think I do and decide to do ethnographic research and publish my findings for the rest of my life? Maybe. There are so many different outcomes that can be had from this experience. But what is it that I will really learn from it all. That is something that can only be determined months, maybe even years from now. What I do know is that I am prepared for this experience. I am going to immerse myself in Ghanaian culture. I am going to remember all the things I have learned in my anthropology and field study prep courses, and I am going to make this experience one to last a lifetime.

Journal #23: Define--poverty and freedom

 

photos from pinterest

 what is poverty?          what is freedom?

     If only there was a single person in this world who knew the answer to that question. World Bank defines poverty as living on one US dollar per day or less but what does that even measure? It is true that in America, living standards for the "well off" middle class American are even fairly high if compared to a majority of the world but not everyone in this world needs to live the way we do. Who is even to say that our way is the best way like many 'westerners' claim. Many people who read that statement from the World Bank would agree that poverty is interchangeable with the word 'poor' but that is not entirely what it means. Poverty is a socially constructed notion. Because we live in an unequal world, some one had to define the condition for those who do not have as much as another. Of the worlds 20 poorest countries, 18 of them are in Africa but that doesn't mean that they themselves, would view themselves as impoverished in all accounts. Certainly they do not all have iPhones, iPads, fancy cars, Platinum credit cards and the like, but that does not mean that they cannot afford the comforts that they deem necessary for a happy life. 

      Poverty is highly individualized. There can certainly be monetary poverty which is what most people think of when they hear the word but there is also familial and spiritual poverty among others. In class we were asked to define our idea of poverty in our own words and I defined it as this " the lack of all things needed to live a healthy, happy life. (i.e lack of resources, lack of proper nutrients, lack of empowerment...ultimately a lack of control). Someone might look at a tiny village in Korphe where Dr. Greg Mortensen (3 Cups of Tea) built a school and think that they need much more than just the school that he gave him but they have been living for many years on what they have and they are both happy and healthy so he gave them something they were lacking, education. Many people have read book and say that they are now free from ignorance and have an education and I am not discounting education at all, I think it is one of the most valuable things I have, but I am simply trying to suggest that while the idea of poverty is real, it cannot be defined. It is too real to too many different people insomuch that there is no one right answer.  My definition itself deals, in my mind, with the idea of freedom as well. How would one be freed from this poverty? One Ghanaian woman defines freedom itself as this..."Define Freedom – To wake up every day to do what you love" Valerie The ability to wake up every day and do what you love would be a freeing thing. Without constraints to tie you down and the lack of food, the lack of hope, the lack of love, you would have the ability to do anything. I don't know whether or not I can even define these things fully in a way that I can understand myself. Thus is the dichotomy of thought of human beings. Some people upon reading this might agree while others could completely oppose and see my views as narrow minded but that is where the beauty of human beings comes from. Our differing views and thoughts are what makes the world go round.
     "poverty" and "freedom" will both no doubt affect the every day dealings of the people with whom I interact so it is going to be important to keep that in mind and to come to understand how they view the ideas. Similarly it will be interesting to see how my thoughts change while I experience a different life in Ghana.