Journal #......?

      Well I went snowboarding today with my brothers and roommate and let me tell you it was just BEAUTIFUL! I marvel at the beauty of this earth every time I get the chance but being up in the mountains is especially amazing. I always have such wonderful spiritual experiences while I am there because I feel so close to our Lord and Savior. Please excuse me if this post makes no sense though because I hit a lip and smacked my head on the ground pretty hard today. Was I wearing a helmet? Nope. Bad idea. I have fallen pretty hard before but I have never hit my head so I guess I just didn't think I really needed to wear one. I'm buying one for next time you can bet on that. This instance made me think about being prepared and learning lessons when we make mistakes. Because I was unprepared for the fall I did not have time to react and my head was making contact with the ground before I even realized what was going on. I imagine I will have moments like this in Africa...moments of impact; probably lots of them. Moments that will define the experiences that I have and my attitude towards them along with what I take away from my whole 3 months. These moments of impact will come at times and places that I least expect; but they will be the moments that define so much of who I become. The activities, people and places that I conduct research in, whether it be deliberate or just happenstance will each be so important to my end results and I never want to take any moment for granted. As the days slip away and my departure date draws near I have found myself more confused and frustrated with the lack of preparation time left. I cannot even wrap my head around where all the time went and I do not know how to even come to terms with the fact that I am actually leaving so soon. I was talking to my dad the other day about everything that I have been learning lately and about the reality of leaving so soon. For some reason talking to him was different because I talk to my mom about it almost every day but talking to him about it just made it seem so much more real. He made me realize that it is not just the fact that I am GOING to Ghana, it is that I am LEAVING the United States and so many people I love. In all honesty, 3 months is not a long time. But the fact that I have never really had the opportunity to travel outside of the United States, by myself (without any of my family or best friends), and that I am now going to leave all of them to embark on this journey made me freak out a little bit. My 3 best friends are going on missions, one is already in the MTC, and when I return from Ghana everything will be different. Many of the boys from Freshman year will be home while my best friends, those who have been my family for these past three years will be graduated, married, or on a mission. Everything will be different. I will be coming back to a college experience that is completely new. Not to mention, it will be time to think about and apply to grad schools (though Boston is my #1choice), but mostly it will be time to figure out what to do AFTER I graduate. GRADUATE from college. What? How am I old enough to even be thinking about that. I was talking to my mom today when she had just dropped off my little sister at Middle School. How was 7th grade so long ago? I think that is what scares me the most.
      With that realization, I decided to look at this experience not only as a field study, not only as the experience that will change my life, not only as this African adventure, but as a time to really find myself. I know who I am, I know why I am here, I know why I am doing this field study, I know why I am an anthropologist, I know why I chose Africa, I know that I believe in the Lord's plan for me and this is part of it, I know that I will be safe and that I will be happy, I know that this experience is for me. But what am I going to take from it? Am I going to decide that I want to turn around and go into nursing or public health because of the experiences I have at the hospital, maybe...double major? Am I going to realize that I love living without the comforts of running water, hot showers, snowfall (only for snowboarding of course), a loft with twinkle lights for endless movie watching in the winters, the comfort of knowing that my family is only a 10 hour drive away and a phone call that can be made at any time of day, without the 7 hour time difference...will I fall so in love with Africa and the African people that I will want to return and do more research, will I realize that I do love anthropology as much as I think I do and decide to do ethnographic research and publish my findings for the rest of my life? Maybe. There are so many different outcomes that can be had from this experience. But what is it that I will really learn from it all. That is something that can only be determined months, maybe even years from now. What I do know is that I am prepared for this experience. I am going to immerse myself in Ghanaian culture. I am going to remember all the things I have learned in my anthropology and field study prep courses, and I am going to make this experience one to last a lifetime.