Waiting...

Well for now I am still waiting. Also, the last of my best friends left me for the summer. Everyone has to go do their own thing eventually but I just don't like feeling as if I have no one left to confide in. That really isn't the case, I know that I will make new friends and I do have some very close friends left here, including Chad though he is gone for the next few weeks. I guess that is why I feel somewhat lonely. I am not actually lonely though and I am certainly never alone. Dance camps takes up a lot of my time and even after work I am virtually never home but there are those moments where I just want to be with my family and those very best friends of mine. This Spring/Summer has already started to prepare me for Ghana without even knowing it. Coping with loneliness and homesickness is something that I will really have to overcome in Ghana because at least here, I am a phone call or a skype date away from voices and faces. In Ghana that will not be the case. I am getting a little nervous as I sit here and write this though because my application still just says COMPLETE but that is not what I care to see whenever I look at it. I want to see the word ACCEPTED so I can get rid of my anxiety over the matter. I know that the Lord will guide me wherever I am supposed to go, whenever I am supposed to go so if it is not the time that I am planning I just have to trust that He has a plan for me and knows when I am supposed to go. Even so, it is still very nerve racking. 90 days in a foreign country...I have never even been to the East Coast. The farthest I have been from home was Hawaii but that was with best friends and family, and duh its Hawaii. I am sure I will be equally excited for Africa but it is way different this time. I cannot even imagine how Maddie is feeling because she got the OK to go on her mission in December. That is basically 6 months early. I am already nervous about being away without the comforts of home for 3 months let alone 18. Maybe going to Africa and learning how to help people is my mission in life but who knows. I could very well end up going on one myself. The scary thing is, I could go in less than a year....just 10 months until I turn 21. Granted, I want to go to Africa for my field study first but what if that is not in the plan for me? I would leave on my mission around the same time as the Field Study departs anyway. What if that is in my future? Thinking about all this uncertainty makes me dizzy, it may be because of the lack of food in my body right now but who knows. I am learning to trust in God and understand that everything will work out the way it is supposed to.