Where do I go from here?

I feel like David Bowie said it best... so I won't expand on that but I will say that this is how I feel almost everyday. When I wake up each morning I think about what is in store for me that day. These days, it consists of school, work, school, work, gym, school, and the occasional activity at night. For my whole college career I have felt like I had a destination, a purpose for the hours of study, and that has all led up to what I feel will be the climax of my education, Ghana. Oddly enough, now that my goal is so close that I feel like I can touch it...there are times when I feel a bit like I am moving without direction. I know that is just fear and insecurity creeping in so I try to focus my energy on what I am doing and where I am going and I sure can say that it will not be (and certainly is not) boring. Not for one minute.

Journal #3: Learning Twi

     English is the national language in Ghana so thankfully I will be able to manage quite well with my native tongue but with the nature of my project, I want to learn Twi as well as I can before going to Ghana. I don't know how much Twi will be spoken in comparison to English in my observations of healer-patient interactions and I do not want to be blindsided when I am in Ghana where I can't understand a thing that is going on around me if Twi is being spoken by both individuals. Of course I cannot learn the language sufficient enough to understand everything nor to even be able to speak a full sentence back but I sure am going to try to learn every single thing that my brain will take in. Not only is it very hard for me to essentially teach myself a new language (or anything for that matter) but having the power in my brain to recognize sounds and letter sequences that mean something in another language is going to be a real struggle. I can say a few simple things already but if I do not think about or say it every day then I have lost progress by the next. I pray every night for the gift of tongues whilst learning this language and especially while I am in Ghana because I sure am going to need it.
      The reason why I feel like it will be so important to me is not only because I want to immerse myself as fully as I can into their culture (communication being an essential part of understanding...not just with language), but also because within my project methods I will be sitting in on healer-patient interactions and I do not know if those who are being healed and those who are healing will be speaking Twi or English, maybe even Twiglish but the point is, I do not want to be stuck with something I cannot analyze, nonetheless understand from an interaction with a traditional healer and an older Ghanaian man who are speaking Twi. As i am writing this, I am taking a break from studying my alphabet and simple things like 'we', 'you', 'I', 'us', 'they', etc... every time I think I get it, I try to translate a sentence from Twi to English or vice versa and the singular/plural stuff messes me up. Anyone speaking French, Spanish, Italian, or whatever else should be eternally grateful to Google Translate for the services they provide. I sure would love that help right about now. Regardless of the struggles and frustrations I get so excited every time I open my "Lets Learn Twi" book because everything about this experiences makes my heart soar!

Project Question

So far, the research question I have developed for my project is: 
        Does gender affect the way healthcare is administered by traditional healers and biomedical doctors when a patient is infected with malaria in Wiamoase (or Asamang), Ghana?
 All the development I have done thus far has been on this question though as I do more research throughout this semester, there may be some tweaking done here and there. I don't love the way it is worded yet and as I do more research and dive even deeper into the literature, I hope to get it just right. 

Journal #2: finding myself through anthropology

Many times when people ask me why I am an anthropologist, and why I chose anthropology as a major because 'what are you going to do with that?'... i do not entirely know how to answer them. I usually just say something like "because I love it" and leave it at that. Lately, I have been thinking a lot about my path in life and the effect this education is having on who I am. With all this thought I have concluded why I love anthropology so much and why this Field Study is going to change my life. Anthropology is the study of human beings (contrary to what some people may think, I am NOT getting an education to manage the store Anthropologie). With that study of human beings comes theory, data, methods... an attempt to understand the motives behind why they act the way they do and how that influences them as a person and extends to their community, their society, and thus...envelops the culture through which they live their lives. Culture for me is more than just what influences their daily activities and character. It is the way one breaths. It is the way they eat, dance, think, dress, love, feel, speak, play, sing... it is the way a person defines who they are.
          One of the reasons that I am so excited about my project is because I will have the opportunity to interact with human beings who have grown up in a completely different culture than my own. People who have had entirely different experiences because of where they live on this earth. But what makes me so excited is thinking about how despite all our differences, we will still be so similar. So far, my project description is this:
Project Description
The ultimate goal of this project is to see if gender affects the way healthcare is administered by traditional healers and biomedical doctors when a patient is infected with malaria in Wiamoase, Ghana. Since the healthcare situation around the world is one which is ever changing as new developments surface and new conclusions are made, new research is needed to keep up with the rapidly evolving field. Thus, my research will contribute to the larger theoretical effort of medical anthropology and socio-cultural anthropology. Malaria is a disease, rather an epidemic which is prominent in many countries today, including Ghana. I will not be researching the disease itself but rather the way gender affects doctor-patient interactions when one is infected with the disease. Since there are many different factors which could influence the way a traditional healer or biomedical doctor treats a patient, I have chosen to hone in on gender so that results will be more easily isolated. In order to carry out this study and attain useful results, I will employ several methods to collect my data. Primarily, I will be video-recording interactions between doctors and patients as I will be seeking to discover whether gendered differences can be identified through observation of interaction between patient and healer. I will also shadow select traditional healers and doctors at the Salvation Army Clinic and observe the way they diagnose malaria and administer treatment. This will help me to better understand the experiences patients are having and see from the healthcare administrator’s point of view how/if gender plays a role in their practices. Furthermore, my research can impact the gendered healthcare discourses in the medical field right now and give doctors as well as patients a better understanding of the outcome of gender differences. By utilizing these methods I hope to gain knowledge and statistical analysis which will help me add to the larger theoretical perspective.
With this study, I hope to not only learn and apply theory and methods and data to add to the general anthropological discourse and more specifically, the medical discourse...but I hope to learn about these people for myself. I hope to come to understand their culture and in doing so, understand IF that affects gender differences among healthcare administration behaviors. Throughout this experience I expect I will indirectly learn more about myself in understanding more about other human beings who live across the world. I am so excited to become immersed in their culture. To learn to think and act as they do in order to ultimately understand more about God's children. In the end, that is my main goal.

Landslide

"Well I've been 'fraid of changing cause I've, built my life around you" -Stevie Nicks Just as the seasons change, so do our lives. My best friend growing up,Taylor Layla Cain got married over winter break. Not only that but Maddie is about to go to Latvia to serve a mission and Erica just got her call to Moscow, Russia. These three girls hold special places in my heart and they have each helped to shape me into the person I am today. As they all embark on their adventures this year, I will embark on one of my own. They, along with my family of course, have always been by my side to run to, to cry to, to laugh with, and to learn with. Now we are parting ways and going to fulfill our individual dreams. I have had a hard time learning how to deal with this fact but I am ready to face it and grow from these experiences. I no longer have this crutch to lean on and to depend on when I feel like I am ready to fall because thats what they have been for me but now as I learn to stand alone I will learn to rely on the Lord even more and becoming even closer to Him is something I really look forward to.

Journal #1: Its just the Beginning

 As the field study prep course commences it is time to really dig in and embark on this journey. I have been having an emotional few weeks because of the many changes coming about right now. My best friends are all going through so many changes including marriage and mission calls and I didn't realize how much it would affect me but now that those things are upon us, I am really feeling my life switching from a comfortable place to some place that I am not quite sure how to handle. Nonetheless, I feel like I have been preparing for this for my whole life. I am excited for this semester because the preparation for Ghana itself is going to get more intense and is going to teach me things I didn't know about myself, Ghana, and others. We read an article for class on Monday titled "What Students Don't Learn Abroad". Listening to those comments from facilitators who have already been to the field were very different than those comments from people who have not been abroad but the general theme for me was simply, understanding. Understanding that while I want to share my culture with the people in Africa, I am there to learn about them. I am there to gain an understanding for why they do things the way they do. For why they speak, and dance, and heal they way they do. For why they believe what they do and much more. While I have lived a very privileged life here in the good ol' U S of A, the people I will interact with and come to know quite personally have experienced a whole different world and I want to know that world. In order to do that I need to leave my preconceived notions and my American-ness in California when I say goodbye to my family and step onto that plane. Of course, I am an American and have only known the culture in the United States and even more, in the LDS community for my whole life but I am ready to experience something new. I am ready to become one with the Ghanaian people in learning their language and how they experience life. This is just the beginning of my quest to understand the world. That is cliche I know, but I truly do want to know more about God's children and what better way than to study among them. As an anthropologist, I am always studying people's behaviors, even among my best friends and roommates. I analyze their actions and words more than I ever have before. Even upon just meeting someone I want to know about their background and life experiences and what led them to being the way they are. It is fascinating to me. Human beings are fascinating creatures.This prep course is basically the same as my Ethnographic Skills class for anthropology. The good thing about that is that I have my project proposal well developed and got an A in my department for it so as far as the requirements go for anthropology I'm solid (there will be tweaking here and there of course). With that proposal being complete, I have the opportunity to use this course as a refiner and a tool to creating the best possible project so I can really do my best research and really come to love and understand the people I interact with.

Just Keep Swimming

Last semester was absolutely NUTS! I can't even begin to remember everything that has happened this year and the countless emotional breakdowns can support that claim. Nonetheless, I made it through with only one B and an especially close A on my research proposal and IRB. I worked on those papers for hours and hours doing research in what it seems like thousands of books and articles (that might be a slight exaggeration) but in the end it all paid off. I just keep telling myself that I can do this. This is not just a step closer to reaching my undergrad. This is a step closer to the rest of my life. All I have to do is keep breathing, keep reading, keep eating, exercising, learning and being happy. I just need to keep swimming so I don't drown in everything.