Its getting to that point. Where it is hard to concentrate on school with anything that doesn't relate to Africa. Even those things that do relate become hard because it is so close that I can hardly even believe I am actually doing this. I want this to work. I want to come back and write my senior thesis which such confidence and sure results that I can say that I worked as hard as I could and that I did all that I could. I want to learn about these peoples lives. I want to become one of them in their culture. I want to better understand the world around me. I want to better understand God's plan for me, and for every person that I meet. I just want to go. I am no Nephi but the Lord has placed this in my path and I am ready to GO and DO! I feel so redundant in all my posts because though I have changed a tremendous amount this semester, it is hard to convey my feelings and thoughts on subjects pertaining to Ghana and my field study three times a week. Honestly, try writing about the same thing every other day, and bringing variety into it, it is hard. So I apologize to those of you reading this blog who may feel like I say the same things over and over again, that's what I feel like.
I've been working on a project for my Anthropology of Development project that is basically a fake development project though we have to write out a proposal as if it is really going to happen. The setting is in Apamea, Syria and let me tell you, it is NOT easy to find adequate information enough to write up this proposal. One thing I have learned though that I think is very valuable is finding information in unexpected places. Countless hours of research have led me to random sources but those unexpected places have yielded the best results. That is one thing that I am very excited about. I can't wait for those days where it seems that nothing is working out but I am led to a random source that proves to have essential information for the success of my project. It is going to be so exciting to look back on those opportunities and recognize how they came about. I feel like it will be like looking back at the end of the day and recognizing the tender mercies from the Lord that we have experienced. Those unexpected blessings that have come along the way. Those will make it all worth it.
I was talking to Andrew yesterday and he was just giving me some advice about Ghana. The biggest thing he said that I will remember is that it is okay to be sad sometimes. It is okay to feel defeated and to wonder what you are doing out there. I will have those days, I am only human so it is inevitable. The thing that will bring me out of those moods is to remember why I am out there.My purpose is clear and my research is ready. Not to count in the fact that I have never done research, by myself nonetheless. But I am confident that I will be able to do it and I will be able to find success. Im ready to go. Soon, so soon!
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