The time has come

The time is nearly gone, I had better be prepared and I had better be ready to do this or I am in for a real treat. Every day when I wake up I feel this tug that has brought me toward Ghana growing stronger and stronger. I am drawn to this place and I am so excited to go explore it. That said, I am also terrified. Terrified because I have never gone anywhere on my own (college is not the same, i still had best friends and siblings and a cell phone to call my mom...familiarity has never felt like such a luxury as I will not know the meaning of the word for awhile here soon). Terrified because I already love these people so much and I'm afraid I will be coming home with a broken heart at the end of this, having to leave Ghana and come back to the United States. Yes I will be thrilled to see my family but my 3 best friends will have embarked on their missions. Maddie flies away to Latvia today, Erica goes into the MTC in 9 short days, Carley leaves right as I get home to see the Germans. And I will come back to the same Provo but I will be so different. My best friends, the family that I have known for the past 3 years will not be here to be with me always and to share every thing with. I am scared for that return. I am not worried in any way about making new friends though my bests will certainly never be replaced, but I know that I will learn how to talk to people and build relationships so well in Ghana since it will be essential to my research so I am not worried about that return, but the change is always a little scary, though exciting, to anticipate. I already feel like I cannot get my thoughts out right in this post. My brain is all over the place. I blame finals. And all the impending change. Not that this year hasn't been full of change after change, because it has. But these are HUGE! I am so grateful for the change though. I have grown in ways I did not think were possible. I have thought thoughts that were foreign and unknown. I have sulked, I have rejoiced, and throughout all this, I have never stopped feeling SO GOOD about this decision. Nothing has ever been so plain. I know that I am supposed to be in Ghana for these three months. Everything in my life so far, especially in the past year, has prepared me for this and as I recognize more events which influenced this decision or prepared me for some hardships, I cannot help but thank my Heavenly Father for His guidance and preparation. I couldn't have done it without Him.